Truest Crime: Brook Street Bosh Brothers – Part Three

reginald

Editors Note: This is the final part of Dr. Reginald Snap’s recount of notorious east end gangsters The Bosh Brothers, read part one and part two first!

 

The Brothers 35th birthday would be an eventful day for them both and would put them on the course of their eventual destruction. Estranged for many years, the brothers spent their birthdays separately. Larry, the younger of the two drowned his sorrows at ‘The Fiddlers Fingers’, the local pub that he spent many days and nights at drinking surrounded by strangers and people he referred to as ‘Wanksters’. It was this day that he would meet a bit of skirt by the name of Sandra Sturgeon (commonly known as ‘Sandra The Surgeon’ as she had once apparently sliced off the penis of a former lover for knocking a cigarette out of her mouth accidentally, her defense being that it was “her last one”). They immediately hit it off due to their love of alcohol and muttering under their breath about people in their vicinity, that night he fed her his saveloy under the bar, next to the beer tap so they wouldn’t have to stop drinking. Soon after, Sandra would move in with Larry as she had run out of money and mistook him for someone with some, the truth of which Larry attempted to keep secret.

Harry’s 35th birthday was also an alcohol-fueled event. Unlike his younger brother, he opted to drink at home on the couch. After his 13th can he had a craving for his favourite meal, cockles and cigarette. So he stumbled out of his flat towards the shops near his home. On his way he noticed a policeman staring at him from across the street, angered Harry approached the officer hurling abuse at him such as “get yer eyeballs out of me” and “I’ll knock yer fuckin socks in you bag o shits”. The copper didn’t take too kindly to this and knocked Harry clean out with a one-two combination. The next morning he woke up in a prison cell, charged with assaulting a police officer, drunk and disorderly, and urinating in public (after being knocked out he pissed himself on the street). Harry was sentenced to two years in prison, whilst on the inside, he tried his hand at poetry, gardening and flower arranging, none of which he was very good at and resulted in him being given the nickname of Poofy Harry, a name which he thought referred to his bouffant hairdo.

Larry and Sandra’s relationship continued on the same course, drinking and having it off in close proximity to booze. After a while, Sandra became irritated with Larry and him with her. She would spend nights drinking in other pubs, up to god knows what with who knows. It was a dark time for Larry, who looked back at his boshing days with his brother fondly, and would regale anyone in ear shot with stories of their escapades, whether they wanted to hear or not. He once apparently had someone in a headlock for three hours as he recalled the story of how him and Harry lost their virginity to the same woman, an event which culminated in the brothers accidentally kissing each other (their defense was the lights were dark, and soft lips runs in the family).

In prison, Harry started receiving letters from a woman called Lavender (which he thought was a make of air freshener). They sent letters back and forth, telling each other of their lives, he shared many stories of his violent youth, she wrote of various animals she’d enjoyed torturing and killing as a young girl. Eventually, they decided upon his release to get hitched, his final letter to her before his release ended with the sentence “Lookin furward to sticking one in yer”. Lavender had agreed to meet him, the day of his release, outside the prison. But what Harry didn’t know was that Larry, now depressed with his new-found loneliness, had heard from their mother that he was being released and decided to reunite with his brother also outside the prison that day.

Larry arrived at the prison door first a few minutes early, as the gates slowly opened and his twin brother walked out he shouted “oi Harry it’s me Larry!” presuming his brother wouldn’t recognise him (despite the fact that they were identical). Harry was surprised not having seen the other half of the Bosh Brothers in a long time, he waved until he noticed a woman standing behind him holding a 20 pack of Benson and Hedges and a 12 pack of supermarket own brand larger (they had decided this would be how they would find each other). As Larry turned around to see what had his brothers attention, he saw his so called woman Sandra standing there waving to his brother. An argument between the three exploded with both brothers shouting “she’s mine” all the while Sandra/Lavender decided to start on the 12 pack of largers and have a few cigarettes. The brothers arguing continued and got more and more heated until they both simultaneously shouted: “I’M GONNA BOSH YOU IN!”. Their heads flew at each other with ferocious speed, cracking both of their skulls on impact in an instant, the boshwave was said to be so great that all the glass in the surrounding area shattered, along with every bone in Sandra/Lavenders body, her lifeless formless body lay in a pool on the floor with a half-smoked cigarette sticking out slowly burning its way down to the filter. This was to be the final bosh of The Bosh Brothers of Brook Street.

 

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